Let Me Borrow Your Imagination for a Moment

Imagine this for me. Imagine having a secret. A huge secret. A secret that affects your life tremendously. If you could just share this secret you could really be yourself. But you know that if your family found out about this secret it could have disastrous consequences. They’d first try to deny it, tell you that you were wrong.  Then they’d try to change your mind. They’d try to get you to see the error of your ways, to turn from your sin. But you know that no matter what they say, you’re right. That secret is a part of you. It’s not a choice, it’s a fact. And then when they get fed up of you standing up for yourself they really turn against you.  They ostracize you. They disown you. They kick you out. You’re a pariah within your family. If they knew your secret, you would eventually end up homeless, helpless. So you’re faced with a dilemma every day. Should you keep your secret to keep your cozy life? Or should you share your secret? Should you stand up for who you are and what you believe in, even if it would have disastrous consequences?


This is the voice of one who can't speak. It's humbling to want to participate in the Day of Silence, but realize you can't because you're one of the people the event is for. 

Rules For Being A Convincing Straight Girl

I've recently had a self-evaluative moment and realized that I'm being kinda obvious. Aside from pointing out hot chicks, I'm pretty much doing everything I can to lead people to the inference that I'm a lesbian. Which would be totally okay if I didn't have to keep this tiny detail a secret from my parents for fear of disgust, scorn, and being kicked out. So I've developed some rules for myself. 

-Buy clothes only from the women's section
-Ditch the rainbow yarn
-Watching football is okay, but powderpuff is for dykes
-Point out attractive males. Pretend to crush on them.
-Try to give a fuck about hair, makeup, and all that jazz
-Hide An Unbearable Lightness, watch Xena clandestinely, listen to tATu only on Pandora and only when alone, keep femslash fanfic hidden,ditch stuff like Victor/Victoria
-Borrow from Mom, not Dad
-Shut the fuck up about gay rights
-Go to Homecoming. Wear a dress.
-No more basketball shorts in public unless actually playing a sport
-As far as underpants go, wear bikinis instead of boyshorts
-Aside from the lucky Ravenclaw tie, ditch the blatantly dyke-y accessories
-Wear heels to church, and quit complaining about the Debate skirt
-Not a mention of attending GSA around the 'rents
-Quit dressing like a guy and try to accentuate boobs/hips
-Pink bra. Nothing's girly-er than a pink bra.
-Try to give a fuck when Harmony* teases "haha, you're 15 and never had a boyfriend!"


*My sister's name has been changed for the sake of anonymity. Mine, not hers. 


I can't help feeling like I'm forgetting a few things, so if you think of any hit me up.